


State of Esperanza, Is Nueva Mejico

by apple9131999



Series: The States of America [16]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Atomic Bomb Testing, Deaf Character, Dysfunctional Family, Family Feels, Historical Hetalia, Japanese Internment (referenced), Major Illness, Manhattan Project, Post-Pearl Harbor, Sibling Love, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 20:45:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6769273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apple9131999/pseuds/apple9131999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"For Maya," he answered staring up at Alfred. "I'm doing this for Maya."</p>
            </blockquote>





	State of Esperanza, Is Nueva Mejico

_July 4, 1945- Carson City, Nevada_

* * *

He was walking next to Arizona on the bank of Lake Tahoe, kicking a stone between the two of them like they used to with a soccer ball. Arizona was swinging their hands together as they walked off the indigestion and watched the sun crest the mountains as it set. Arizona was still a head or so shorter than him, and therefore he had to shorten his strides so she could keep up.

“Aletea promised she would show me how to pan for gold this summer,” Arizona was saying as she kicked the rock back to him.

“Did she? I don’t think there’s enough gold left in her,” he said with a tense smile.

Arizona shrugged as though that hadn’t occurred to her. “Maybe she’ll take me up to the Yukon.” Then she turned to him brightly. “Do you think she will?”

New Mexico scoffed lightly as he nudged the pebble back to her. “You’ll freeze up there, Elvita. I think Aletea will too.”

Arizona hummed as she kicked the pebble far ahead of them. “I wonder if that’s why Kira’s so cold.”

“Elvita! Diego! Wait up!”

New Mexico turned around to see California running for the two of them, two tiny tanned arms wrapped around her neck as she held her arms out, making the noise of an engine as she reached them. She pulled up short, arms bending around to hold up Alaska Territory on her back. Alaska was smiling when she popped her head over California’s shoulder.

“Hi guys,” she said breathlessly as Alaska continued to laugh behind her.

“Aletea!” Arizona cried, surging forward to give California a kiss on the cheek. “What are you two doing?”

California bounced Alaska again on her back and the toddler giggled harder. “We were playing airplane. What were you two doing?”

“Walking and talking. We were kicking a pebble. How did you get Kira away from Vickie?”

California smirked. “Vickie’s a lot less argumentative when she’s asleep- _ow, argh_ , what is it Kira?” she asked as she turned her head to look at the little girl who had tugged on her hair. “I can’t see, Elvita, what is she saying?”

Arizona dropped New Mexico’s hand and stepped around California to gain Alaska’s attention. The girl repeated the motion and Arizona translated, “She has to go potty.”

California sighed and looked despairingly back at the dim lights of Nevada’s house. Arizona laughed at California’s reaction and held her hands out to the child. “I’ll take her- oof,” she said as Alaska all but threw herself into Arizona’s arms, hand repeating the gesture. Arizona shifted her so she could sign with her right hand as she walked away from the two of them.

They stayed in silence for a few moments before California said, almost suddenly, “You know, you’re acting more like a man who is going to be testing grounds in a few days rather than a boy at a birthday.”

He jerked up to stare at her. California looked depressed in the fading light, wane, and tired as she stared back at him. “Alfred told me. Wanted some form of support since you fainted when he asked you.”

“I did _not_ faint,” New Mexico snarled bitterly. California looked triumphant. “It’s not every day you’re asked to be the testing grounds for a new weapon. I was overwhelmed,” he defended.

California nodded, agreeing with him. “That is true. Do you have a plan?” she asked.

“Plan?”

“Someone to be with you when it happens?”

“It’s not going to be at the caliber that-”

“Yes, but we don’t know what it does.”

“I was just going to stay with Alfred.”

California scoffed. “Diego, for as much as Alfred loves us, he can’t stomach seeing any of us in pain. He’s not going to stand next to you and hold your hand. He’s just going to be away so that he doesn’t have to see what happens to you.”

It stung, but it was the truth and he knew it. “What do you suppose I do then?”

“May I be with you?” she asked after a moment, firm in her question. “I would like to know what happens. And I want to… atone for past mistakes.”

“What happened wasn’t any fault of yours,” he said softly, though he knew that California had been blaming herself for the past year and a half. And he knew that certain siblings of theirs also had that opinion but held no hard feelings for her.

“I’d like to believe that one day,” she said, her voice soft. “May I?”

He nodded.

* * *

_July 16, 1845- Alamogordo Air Base, New Mexico_

_1:14_ \- He woke up at 1:00am, tense with apprehension, sweat soaked sheets tangled around his feet. He gasped in the near darkness and stumbled out of bed and to the bathroom and promptly emptied what little California had managed to make him eat the night before into the toilet.

There was a thud of thunder outside and he jumped almost out of his skin. He did, however, succeed in falling into his shower and knocking the curtains down, loud enough to be heard over the thunder. He lay underneath the rod and the curtains as the lightning flashed and the thunder rolled.

“Diego?” a sleepy voice muttered as a hand fumbled for the light switch.

He groaned and then started crying.

 _3:36_ \- Alfred stopped by before he had to be at the observation tower. They were at T minus 24 and New Mexico couldn’t sit still.

Alfred was going up in one of the planes, though he wouldn’t be in the actual plane when it went to Japan.

He hugged New Mexico tightly. “Thank you. Thank you for doing this for us.”

“For Maya,” he answered as he pulled away, staring up at Alfred. “I’m doing this for Maya.”

California made a wounded noise across the room and tears started swimming in Alfred’s bright blue eyes. “For Maya,” he agreed, his voice broken.

 _3:57_ \- “Stop staring at the clock,” California snapped.

T minus 3 minutes.

“Diego stop it, you’ll just make yourself upset.”

T minus 2 minutes.

Thunder crashed outside and rain was hurled at the windows.

T minus 1 minute.

“Diego,” California snapped as he sat down preemptively, counting out the seconds under his breath.

T minus 30 seconds.

He grabbed for California’s hand and took a deep breath, feeling his stomach churn in anxiety.

T minus 10

9

8

“Diego I am serious,” California said as she held his hand tighter.

4

3

2

1

He winced, prepared.

And nothing happened.

He stared at California breathlessly. “Has it happened?” she asked, searching his eyes.

He shook his head. “No, and if it did… it didn’t work…”

California whimpered and tugged him towards her, hugging him close to her. He tightened his arms around her. If it hadn’t worked, they would do it again tomorrow. He started crying again. California tugged him onto her lap- he might have been 171 years older than her, but she was bigger than him and he curled gratefully into her cocoon of comfort.

 _5:31_ \- According to California, he had started screaming and tearing at his shirt and then howled louder when he saw the wound. He had stumbled to the bathroom, got halfway there, and passed out. He’d had a fever for two days, threw up just as often as she forced something down his throat. He mumbled in his sleep, interchanging between Spanish, his native languages, and slurred English. He also apparently punched Alfred when he came to visit, bouncing excited at the success of the experiment.

He only remembered screaming- feeling like his world was being torn apart and that someone was punching him repeatedly in his lower stomach- and then feeling bile rise up his throat and stumbling and stumbling and-

* * *

_August 21, 1946_

California had invited New Mexico and Arizona to her place for a slumber party for the week that Alaska was visiting her. New Mexico had a feeling it had something to do with the last time she had been alone in Sacramento with Alaska, they had lost Hawai’i and California still blamed herself.

He had taken Alaska on a walk, guiding her past the homeless people sitting on the curb when she had paused to stare at a young, grimy, Japanese girl sitting by herself. He glanced back when he ushered her on and saw the girl staring after them. She looked as though she hadn’t eaten in awhile. She brightened when she noticed him looking and hurriedly got to her feet and made to walk after them, but he turned around immediately and pushed Alaska forward gently.

“Kira,” he had signed when they were far enough away, “you don’t talk to those people.”

“Hawai’i,” the little girl signed and when he sighed exasperated, she repeated the sign stubbornly.

“Yes, they were the people who hurt Hawai’i,” he acquiesced. Alaska stamped her foot and whined, a disjointed noise.

“Hawai’i,” she said again and then pointed to where they had just come from. He rolled his eyes and took her hand.

“We’re going home,” he told her as she wriggled around so that she was walking backwards. Her hands were moving and when he looked down at her, he saw the sign, ‘Sister’ being repeated. He sighed and pulled her in front of him. “Yes, we’re going to see our sisters.”

Alaska stamped her foot again and signed, “Hawai’i Sister.”

“Hawai’i is your sister,” he agreed before picking her up and walking her back to California’s house. Arizona had always been better at making Alaska understand than he was.

* * *

California was quiet as she watched Arizona start to explain to the excited toddler that Hawai’i was hurt by the Japanese people that looked like the people she had seen on her walk. New Mexico stood silent by her side, watching California’s face until she turned to him.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

He shrugged and sipped at the coffee she had made him. “I guess the walk to tire her out didn’t work.”

California laughed and then sobered. “I know you’re avoiding the question, Diego. Answer me.”

“I haven’t felt like I was going to throw up recently,” he muttered bitterly. “Has D.C. gotten back from his visit to Japan?”

“He was going to stop by the Islands and…” she trailed off, folding her arms over her chest.

Alaska stood up and stamped her foot loudly as Arizona stared up at her in confusion. “No, no, no, _no_ ,” the little girl signed repeatedly. “Hawai’i _here.”_

New Mexico groaned in exasperation. “Elvita, it’s useless, just go read to her or something.”

Arizona sighed and asked Alaska if she wanted to read, but the little girl refused because she wanted to wait for Hawai’i to come home. California’s face crumpled and she muttered, “She was like this before.”

Arizona stood up and walked over to the two of them. “I’m going to get her a book. One of you can try now.”

Alaska was teetering to the plush armchair by the TV set. When she reached it, she tugged on the fabric to heft herself up onto the seat. California looked at him with wide eyes when he turned to look at her. Tears were already brimming up in her eyes. He sighed mentally and went to go stand by Alaska. She was pushing herself up with the armrest so she could peer out the window to the walkway.

He tapped her shoulder, but she only flapped a hand at him, not turning to see who it was. He heard hurried footsteps and when he looked up, California wasn't in the doorway. He looked back at Alaska and sighed, feeling his lungs rattle and his stomach clench up. He picked her up and resettled her on his lap. At least one of them still had hope.

* * *

Arizona had taken Alaska on a walk the next day in order to try and tamp down the little girl’s excitement. The last day of their visit, California had taken Alaska out of the house so New Mexico and Arizona could pack up without a screaming toddler hanging off of them. They got back, California in tears and Alaska screaming about Hawai’i again.

“Maybe it's because the last time she was here, so was Hawai'i,” Arizona tried to comfort the tearful California as both girls sat in her kitchen. California only cried harder.

Alaska was perched on the arm chair again, staring out into the city. New Mexico checked his watch. Rhode Island should be here soon. Then she would take care of Alaska.

There was a gentle knocking on the front door and he cheered inwardly as he went to answer the door. Alaska was starting to bounce in the chair, the way she did when she recognized someone. She bounced out of the seat and chased after him as he reached the door. He chuckled. She must miss Rhode. He scooped her up and opened the door, a smile on his face that froze when he noticed who was at the door.

“Hawai'i, New Mexico, Hawai'i! _Hawai’i! Hawai'i!!”_ Alaska signed as New Mexico stared at the little girl on the front stoop who was certainly not Rhode Island.

The child’s eyes- which were pinched in a distressingly Asian manner- were fixated on Alaska and as the girl stared, a smile bloomed across her face. New Mexico stared at the girl until she lifted a shaking hand and signed, “Alaska!”

Alaska managed to wiggle out of the slack grip he had once he saw the girl sign and she bounced over to the girl. She was just a head shorter than her and the girl had trouble hefting her into her arms, but Alaska was wriggling under her arms and squeezing her tight as though she had finally found something after months of searching.

Or maybe, years. “Maya?” New Mexico asked as he stared at his sister- no _sisters._

Hawai’i brightened immediately. “Diego!”


End file.
